The Multiplier Effect

I'm looking for my place in life,
It seems I've failed to suceed,
I've been told that I'll amount to nothing,
That I was ruining my life,
The negativity breaching through my sanity.

I guess it's time to grow up,
Four years ago I would have never thought,
I'd end up like this,
But when you hit rock bottom,
Up is the only way left,
The only other option is death.

Everyone around me seems so happy,
Well I've been thrown into a situation unknown,
Fighting to just stay alive,
Biding my time alone,
Because those that get close,
They end up leaving,
Then avoid me like I am a ghost.

So I suppose you could say,
That I feel unworthy to be loved,
Because in life I've been shown,
That caring beyond the call of duty,
Just ends up with me stoned,
So I will wait for your face,
To disappear from my dreams,
Because I know you care,
Oh wait, FUCK that,
Talking to you is rare.
But it's OK,
You're right I need to get the fuck over you,
Because you never follow through,
It's time for me to be free,
Away from all this agony.

I'm waiting for someone to walk into my life,
Make my sun shine,
So that I feel like this world,
And all these charities of mine,
Were worth the effort.

I've given everything,
Only to gain nothing,
So maybe I've become cynical,
But I'm waiting for a change,
That I've figured out,
I have to make.

Falling into Despair

I'm stuck within the crevices,
Of a life once past,
I've left behind all I've ever known and had,
And I feel so alone,
I've taken a different path,
Hopefully in the right direction.

Now all I've got are memories,
Of now forsaken tendencies,
I feel I'm slowly fading,
Because it's so hard to move along,
When everything I ever loved,
No longer cares,
This distance I bare,
To cleanse the shreds of humanity,
That I used to share. 

They say the rest is unwritten,
But that's what is the cause of my fear,
I'm in a foreign land,
Losing my grip on my sanity,
While everyone sits idly-by,
Because they have no idea.

Now all I've got are memories,
Of now forsaken tendencies,
I feel I'm slowly fading,
Because it's so hard to move along,
When everything I ever loved,
No longer cares,
This distance I bare,
To cleanse the shreds of humanity,
That I used to share. 

Can You Hear Me Knocking?

I know that life can be unnerving,
But I want to save you,
From this place called hell,
I just want to hug away your sorrows,
Kiss away your pain,
See your smile shine through,
Do for you what you do for me.

When life breaks you down,
You build these walls so high, thick, and deep.
I don't want to be pushed away,
I just want to take your hand,
And pull you back onto your feet,
Forget the past and concentrate on your future,
Because with each new day,
Can come a new start,
Don't let the world hold you down,
You're worth so much more,
Just open your eyes and see,
You mean everything to me.

I know it must be hard,
To deal with someone like me,
I can be annoying,
But when I love something,
I put my heart into it,
And baby my heart's been set on you.


I build myself up,
Just to watch myself fall again,
It never changes,
(It always remains the same)
Constant struggle that I've grown accustomed to,
Hoping that some day things will be different,
But it always ends before I have the chance to make amends,
This is the end of me,
(Does this have to be the end of us?)
These wounds are too deep,
When will the healing start for me?
(Scars are only skin-deep)

Let me in,
Let me fill the void...

The Results are in the Statistics

I don't understand why,
But the harder I try,
The further away I'm pushed,
I would have done anything for you,
I hold inside feelings you never knew,
For once I was happy,
To have someone in my life,
That I thought cared for me too.

That night when you got so drunk,
The night you thought you were going to die,
I was there by your side,
When all your troubles had caught up to you,
I helped to rearrange your living situation,
You ignored me when I was present,
Even though I was begging for your attention,
Still I followed through to try and get to you,
Because I felt something deep for you.

I confess I may have been a bit overwhelming,
But my intentions were true,
I just wanted to spend my time with you,
You are so far away,
And I just wanted to make the best of everyday I spent with you.

That night when you got so drunk,
The night you thought you were going to die,
I was there by your side,
When all your troubles had caught up to you,
I helped to rearrange your living situation,
You ignored me when I was present,
Even though I was begging for your attention,
Still I followed through to try and get to you,
Because I felt something deep for you.

Now I'm lost and you're confused,
Now I'm sad and feel abused,
Why would you leave so abruptly,
When I used to mean everything to you.

Unfinished Business

I once saw you crying,
And it tore me on the inside,
I just wanted to kiss away your tears,
Take away all your fears,
Hug away your sorrows,
But I could do nothing,
Even though I wanted to do everything.

I will be there through thick and thin,
When you fall I will catch you,
When you're in need,
I'll hold you tightly,
When you can no longer bare.
The hurt you feel inside,
When you feel like the world is against you,
I will stand with you,
Until the day I die...

Medicine Man

I feel like giving up,
What's the point in continuing on,
When my luck has run dry,
And all I feel is the emptiness inside,
I try so hard to make things right,
Put my thoughts aside,
Attempting to make this world a better place,
But I'm so weak and weary,
From dealing with this pain,
That I just can't seem to make go away.

I build myself up,
Just to watch myself fall again,
It never changes,
(It always remains the same)
Constant struggle that I've grown accustomed to,
Hoping that some day things will be different,
But it always ends before I have the chance to make amends,
This is the end of me,
(Does this have to be the end of us?)
These wounds are too deep,
When will the healing start for me?
(Scars are only skin-deep)

I've lost everything,
You should turn and run away,
Because anyone who gets close to me,
Just becomes a memory,
Which is all I seem to keep,
Reliving every step I've taken,
The path I've chosen,
Leads to misery,
I never got the chance,
To put your picture on my wall,
And now I'm unsure,
That I'll ever get to...

I build myself up,
Just to watch myself fall again,
It never changes,
(It always remains the same)
Constant struggle that I've grown accustomed to,
Hoping that some day things will be different,
But it always ends before I have the chance to make amends,
This is the end of me,
(Does this have to be the end of us?)
These wounds are too deep,
When will the healing start for me?
(Scars are only skin-deep)

My Resolve

They say that things get worse before they get better,
But I don't know how long I can hold strong,
And fake this smile.


I'll tell you the saddest story,
Of a life in peril,
Where no one seems to understand,
The pain I am fighting through,
Just trying to make it by,
The path I've chosen,
Is laid with tears,
Silent nights and forgetful days,
Somehow I have to keep pressing on.


To think things could come to this,
Everything comes at once,
Testing my faith,
My resolve,
It seems to the only thing left to keep me happy,
Are the drugs I need,
Because anymore it seems I have nothing left.


I'll tell you the saddest story,
Of a life in peril,
Where no one seems to understand,
The pain I am fighting through,
Just trying to make it by,
The path I've chosen,
Is laid with tears,
Silent nights and forgetful days,
Somehow I have to keep pressing on.

I don't know where I'm heading,
Day by day I'm livin',
Because when I think about the future,
I'm miserable.

P.S. - Don't Forget About Me

So I'm sitting here alone,
Back here in our hometown,
You only left yesterday,
But it seems like years,
Have come and passed us by,
You feel so far away,
Because I'd rather you be near,
But you're starting your journey of life,
A fresh, brand new start,
To do what you were meant to do,
Live free.


There were always so many restrictions,
It was driving you insane,
But now you're on your own,
Finding a new place to call your home,
I wish you the best along your adventure,
I have so mcuh I want to say,
But I hold it all inside,
Because this is for you,
And that's what matters at this point and time.

When you look up at the night sky,
Imagine me looking too,
If we can see the same stars,
Then we can never be too far,
Now it's my turn to be there for you,
As you were for me,
Oh so many years ago.

Don't forget about me,
I'll never forget about you
I'll never forget about you
I'll never forget about you.

While You Were Gone

With each day,
Time passes away,
But with every moment,
My love grows stronger,
I know it will never fade.


You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

I don't want to see you go,
But whatever the distance may be,
My love for you will radiate endlessly,
I've seen life without you in it,
And it overcame me,
Because nothing works out,
Nothing is the same,
You are the best part of everything.


You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

These words I write,
Can't describe the feelings I hold inside,
But girl I do try,
Because what I can say,
Is that I'll love you forever,
We've had our own share of problems,
But we always find our way back,
And I want nothing less for you,
Than to give you the world,
Because you deserve the world,
Because you deserve that and so much more.

You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

I never understood what love was,
Till we shared it together,
I know we've both been scared,
But is it truly worth it?
If we are scared to take the risk,
Afraid of the fall,
Trust in me as I trust in you,
There's no fall for you to take,
But just a chance to be shown,
I love who you truly are.

And while I was away,
The only thing I knew I wanted,
Was the girl whom I loved before,
I tried so hard to move on,
Because baby our meeting was destiny,
And I'll fight through everything,
To spend my time with you.

You've been hurt many times,
You've been broken,
Hate with tears you've cried,
And I just want to take that pain away,
To wipe your tears and hold you close,
Stand with you till the end,
Because all I've ever wanted,
Was to bring you happiness,
I'll be there through it all,
Because I'm following my heart,
It has never led me astray,
It has been that way for two years and forty-two days,
Yes I remember all that was felt before our time away,
And now I see what could be,
And I will wait for that chance again baby,
Forever if I need to,
But please don't make me wait that long,
Because even though I would,
It would bring me down,
Because I know what I want,
And that is you.

You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

I love you,
I always will,
You are my one and only,
My only one if you will,
I've seen what else has been offered,
But nothing can take your place in my heart,
You built a home where you dwell,
And baby it's permanent,
Inside of me you'll always be,
Name removed from controversy,
You're the only one for me.

My Reason

I've tried so hard to push you out of my head,
But you are all I think about anymore,
I miss you more than ever,
And I'm not myself,
Trying not to feel lonely,
Wishing you were here.


Now I'm moving in circles,
I can't breathe,
I can't sleep,
I can't eat,
I'm just so lost without you,
When we talk,
My feelings come back ten-fold.

I've lost my will to suceed,
And I feel so terribly,
You were the ray of light in my life,
My little glimmer of hope,
And now I'm far past gone,
Trying to wait it out,
Hoping we'll be together again.

Now I'm moving in circles,
I can't breathe,
I can't sleep,
I can't eat,
I'm just so lost without you,
When we talk,
My feelings come back ten-fold.

I need you in my life,
Because I don't want to feel alone,
And I wish you knew,
All the things I've been through,
Because then you'd undertsand,
My need to be close to you.

In Times of Need

Please help me God,
I'm going through a tough part inside,
I'm trying to save a life,
But I don't always know the answers for the questions I seek.
(I feel inside)


I've loved this girl for so long,
But she went and moved on,
And I can't overcome this position,
Because she still means everything to me,
I could never set her free,
No matter how hard I tried,
She was the only thing on my mind.


Now's she's torn in her heart,
Between all she understands and the unknown,
And as much as I want her in my life,
I'd rather see her happy,
However that may seem,
Even if it means we'll never be,
My love for her would go that far,
Because she deserves the world,
Even if that world doesn't include me.


No matter what happens between us,
She'll always be my everything,
Nothing can ever change my feelings,
I know because I've tried,
However it ends,
Lord please guide my life.

New Beginnings

I'm feeling my way through this,
I'm just trying to understand this,
Because this is all so new to me,
Sometimes it's hard to find the words to say,
To explain the thoughts that wander through my mind,
I'm fighting a battle of nerves,
Looking for the path to follow.

No matter what words are said,
The feelings within my heart will remain,
(Yes they'll always remain)
You've got me locked away in your eyes,
Behind that silent smile,
Staring back into your gaze,
I've waited all my life,
For a girl like you,
(Yes a girl like you)

Everyday I spend with you,
The fonder my heart grows,
A week is just not enough,
But it will have to do,
Until the day I stand beside you,
When I'm around you,
All my blues fade away,
And I can see the sun again,
This is a new beginning,
A chance to start better than ever,
Take my hand,
I'll lead you right.

No matter what words are said,
The feelings within my heart will remain,
(Yes they'll always remain)
You've got me locked away in your eyes,
Behind that silent smile,
Staring back into your gaze,
I've waited all my life,
For a girl like you,
(Yes a girl like you)

Angel Eyes

My life's been full of pain,
But the day we met,
It all went away,
But through the tears,
Over all the years,
It was worth the tyranny,
Because it brought me you.


I know that dreams come true,
Wishes made come through,
Prayers asked receive an answer,
And endless thoughts don't end in disaster,
There's hope in all this,
Life isn't always hell,
And I hope you see,
You're my miracle.

Fear had kept me from the dating scene,
But I took a chance,
And I'm so very lucky,
Because you're absolutely amazing,
I never thought that when I left home,
That I'd leave with nothing,
And return with everything.

I know that dreams come true,
Wishes made come through,
Prayers asked receive an answer,
And endless thoughts don't end in disaster,
There's hope in all this,
Life isn't always hell,
And I hope you see,
You're my miracle.

Sort It Out

I've pulled myself through,
I've lifted my head,
Even when I felt that I was better off dead,
I did it myself with the help of God,
But I've missed your caring words,
Because they've withstood the test of time.

I'll never forget what you've done for me,
I'll never regret the love I felt,
I'll always believe,
That things were meant to be,
I'll always remember the time we spent,
In hopes that one day,
We can be together again.

It' so hard to understand,
Why you're so caught up on him,
When he never loved you the way I loved you,
I never put my feelings first,
Because I was scared of breaking your heart,
But you can't get over the fact,
That he is manipulating you,
And no longer can I stand still.

I'll never forget what you've done for me,
I'll never regret the love I felt,
I'll always believe,
That things were meant to be,
I'll always remember the time we spent,
In hopes that one day,
We can be together again.

No matter how hard I try,
I can't get you out of my mind,
And after all the tears I'll cry,
I don't want to believe that all this,
Was a lie.

Christmas Eve(ntually)

I've searched long and hard,
To fill the emptiness within my heart,
I've been lost,
I've been torn,
But the lesson I learned,
Was to carry on.


Winter was always bleak,
The cold that pierced your lungs,
And the darkness that obscured the light,
For me,
Always the loneliest time of the year,
When you're never really home.


God has given me so much,
He has shaped me into who I am today,
And without him I'd be in much worse shape.


I can't help but feel this way,
It seems my life always find the road,
That lead to dead ends,
I can't replace you,
I can't forget you,
So why can't I move along?


I'll always be waiting here,
I've got nothing left to hold back,
No longer will I bottle my feelings inside,
With the approach of the new year,
Comes a new start.

A Long Goodbye

I believed in a dream,
That faded into a nightmare,
And from all my fears,
Came the truth of reality,
But I've learned to face this kind of situation,
I've grown tired of the pain,
So I release it by moving forward.

I had so much to offer,
I treated you the best I knew how,
And when life got the best of me,
I wasn't sure what move to make next,
But with time and lessons learned,
I've overcome the obstacles set in front of me,
You don't know what you chose to give away so easily,
So don't cry when someday you see a smile on another girls face,
Because I waited for two years,
Longer than I needed to.

I will always love you in my heart,
But things between us would never work,
I'll still be the friend you need,
But you can't have everything,
Because I will build a wall,
To protect myself from being hurt,
I hope you find in life,
Everything you were hoping for,
Because its what you deserve.

I had so much to offer,
I treated you the best I knew how,
And when life got the best of me,
I wasn't sure what move to make next,
But with time and lessons learned,
I've overcome the obstacles set in front of me,
You don't know what you chose to give away so easily,
So don't cry when someday you see a smile on another girls face,
Because I waited for two years,
Longer than I needed to.