The Multiplier Effect

I'm looking for my place in life,
It seems I've failed to suceed,
I've been told that I'll amount to nothing,
That I was ruining my life,
The negativity breaching through my sanity.

I guess it's time to grow up,
Four years ago I would have never thought,
I'd end up like this,
But when you hit rock bottom,
Up is the only way left,
The only other option is death.

Everyone around me seems so happy,
Well I've been thrown into a situation unknown,
Fighting to just stay alive,
Biding my time alone,
Because those that get close,
They end up leaving,
Then avoid me like I am a ghost.

So I suppose you could say,
That I feel unworthy to be loved,
Because in life I've been shown,
That caring beyond the call of duty,
Just ends up with me stoned,
So I will wait for your face,
To disappear from my dreams,
Because I know you care,
Oh wait, FUCK that,
Talking to you is rare.
But it's OK,
You're right I need to get the fuck over you,
Because you never follow through,
It's time for me to be free,
Away from all this agony.

I'm waiting for someone to walk into my life,
Make my sun shine,
So that I feel like this world,
And all these charities of mine,
Were worth the effort.

I've given everything,
Only to gain nothing,
So maybe I've become cynical,
But I'm waiting for a change,
That I've figured out,
I have to make.