If I Could Push Forward

Love,
Death,
Wondering if this could be my last breath,
Trying to find my place in life,
The constant reminder that I'm a failure,
I've been told that I'll amount to nothing,
Sometimes I just want to mean something,
To have a purpose for living through this hell,
I seem to be stuck re-living the past,
Missing the days when I lived my life care-free,
But that wasn't enough for everyone,
They expect so much from me,
Even when I didn't know what I wanted,
So I'm trying to plot my course,
Still I hope to succeed,
Because I have nothing left but this apathy,
I'm so far away from where I want to be,
I've got to make the best with what I have,
So here goes,
Here's to me,
I don't want your sympathy,
I'll do this for me,
So please leave my memories.