If I Could Push Forward

Love,
Death,
Wondering if this could be my last breath,
Trying to find my place in life,
The constant reminder that I'm a failure,
I've been told that I'll amount to nothing,
Sometimes I just want to mean something,
To have a purpose for living through this hell,
I seem to be stuck re-living the past,
Missing the days when I lived my life care-free,
But that wasn't enough for everyone,
They expect so much from me,
Even when I didn't know what I wanted,
So I'm trying to plot my course,
Still I hope to succeed,
Because I have nothing left but this apathy,
I'm so far away from where I want to be,
I've got to make the best with what I have,
So here goes,
Here's to me,
I don't want your sympathy,
I'll do this for me,
So please leave my memories.

My Regret

Four years long gone,
I gave four years of my life to you,
Waiting on something that never came to be,
Did I waste my time?
Was my father right?
I gave everything to end up with nothing,
Just a memory you still linger,
And when I find something to make me smile,
It is taken from me abruptly,
I seem to only find dead-ends,
Did I live my life in sin?
Maybe it's time for me to grow up,
I know I'm such a loser,
I'm twenty-two and without a clue,
I'm just trying to get by,
Because all my plans included you,
So forgive me for being a little bitter,
I'm not blaming you,
Obviously I was chasing an empty dream,
I just wish that I'd never said,
That I love you.

A Two-Hour Flight and A Two-Hour Drive

When I come home,
Will I have a hero's welcome,
Or did everyone forget about my existence,
One-upped by a soldier who deserves the attention,
For he is serving his country,
Whereas I exist to make a mess,
When I come back,
Will everything have changed,
Will the relationships I forged feel like they did yesterday?
I've been gone for so long,
I may just be a faint memory,
I tend to blend into the environment I'm in,
I still have months of isolation,
This is the darkest of my days,
"But you're doing well",
Yeah my grades are great Mom,
But I'm still so alone and I'm dying just a little bit faster,
I'm trying to get everything straight,
Because where I am is only temporary,
Just a small step on my journey,
When all is said and done,
I'll come back home.

The Multiplier Effect

I'm looking for my place in life,
It seems I've failed to suceed,
I've been told that I'll amount to nothing,
That I was ruining my life,
The negativity breaching through my sanity.

I guess it's time to grow up,
Four years ago I would have never thought,
I'd end up like this,
But when you hit rock bottom,
Up is the only way left,
The only other option is death.

Everyone around me seems so happy,
Well I've been thrown into a situation unknown,
Fighting to just stay alive,
Biding my time alone,
Because those that get close,
They end up leaving,
Then avoid me like I am a ghost.

So I suppose you could say,
That I feel unworthy to be loved,
Because in life I've been shown,
That caring beyond the call of duty,
Just ends up with me stoned,
So I will wait for your face,
To disappear from my dreams,
Because I know you care,
Oh wait, FUCK that,
Talking to you is rare.
But it's OK,
You're right I need to get the fuck over you,
Because you never follow through,
It's time for me to be free,
Away from all this agony.

I'm waiting for someone to walk into my life,
Make my sun shine,
So that I feel like this world,
And all these charities of mine,
Were worth the effort.

I've given everything,
Only to gain nothing,
So maybe I've become cynical,
But I'm waiting for a change,
That I've figured out,
I have to make.

Falling into Despair

I'm stuck within the crevices,
Of a life once past,
I've left behind all I've ever known and had,
And I feel so alone,
I've taken a different path,
Hopefully in the right direction.

Now all I've got are memories,
Of now forsaken tendencies,
I feel I'm slowly fading,
Because it's so hard to move along,
When everything I ever loved,
No longer cares,
This distance I bare,
To cleanse the shreds of humanity,
That I used to share. 

They say the rest is unwritten,
But that's what is the cause of my fear,
I'm in a foreign land,
Losing my grip on my sanity,
While everyone sits idly-by,
Because they have no idea.

Now all I've got are memories,
Of now forsaken tendencies,
I feel I'm slowly fading,
Because it's so hard to move along,
When everything I ever loved,
No longer cares,
This distance I bare,
To cleanse the shreds of humanity,
That I used to share. 

Can You Hear Me Knocking?

I know that life can be unnerving,
But I want to save you,
From this place called hell,
I just want to hug away your sorrows,
Kiss away your pain,
See your smile shine through,
Do for you what you do for me.

When life breaks you down,
You build these walls so high, thick, and deep.
I don't want to be pushed away,
I just want to take your hand,
And pull you back onto your feet,
Forget the past and concentrate on your future,
Because with each new day,
Can come a new start,
Don't let the world hold you down,
You're worth so much more,
Just open your eyes and see,
You mean everything to me.

I know it must be hard,
To deal with someone like me,
I can be annoying,
But when I love something,
I put my heart into it,
And baby my heart's been set on you.


I build myself up,
Just to watch myself fall again,
It never changes,
(It always remains the same)
Constant struggle that I've grown accustomed to,
Hoping that some day things will be different,
But it always ends before I have the chance to make amends,
This is the end of me,
(Does this have to be the end of us?)
These wounds are too deep,
When will the healing start for me?
(Scars are only skin-deep)

Let me in,
Let me fill the void...

The Results are in the Statistics

I don't understand why,
But the harder I try,
The further away I'm pushed,
I would have done anything for you,
I hold inside feelings you never knew,
For once I was happy,
To have someone in my life,
That I thought cared for me too.

That night when you got so drunk,
The night you thought you were going to die,
I was there by your side,
When all your troubles had caught up to you,
I helped to rearrange your living situation,
You ignored me when I was present,
Even though I was begging for your attention,
Still I followed through to try and get to you,
Because I felt something deep for you.

I confess I may have been a bit overwhelming,
But my intentions were true,
I just wanted to spend my time with you,
You are so far away,
And I just wanted to make the best of everyday I spent with you.

That night when you got so drunk,
The night you thought you were going to die,
I was there by your side,
When all your troubles had caught up to you,
I helped to rearrange your living situation,
You ignored me when I was present,
Even though I was begging for your attention,
Still I followed through to try and get to you,
Because I felt something deep for you.

Now I'm lost and you're confused,
Now I'm sad and feel abused,
Why would you leave so abruptly,
When I used to mean everything to you.

Unfinished Business

I once saw you crying,
And it tore me on the inside,
I just wanted to kiss away your tears,
Take away all your fears,
Hug away your sorrows,
But I could do nothing,
Even though I wanted to do everything.

I will be there through thick and thin,
When you fall I will catch you,
When you're in need,
I'll hold you tightly,
When you can no longer bare.
The hurt you feel inside,
When you feel like the world is against you,
I will stand with you,
Until the day I die...

Medicine Man

I feel like giving up,
What's the point in continuing on,
When my luck has run dry,
And all I feel is the emptiness inside,
I try so hard to make things right,
Put my thoughts aside,
Attempting to make this world a better place,
But I'm so weak and weary,
From dealing with this pain,
That I just can't seem to make go away.

I build myself up,
Just to watch myself fall again,
It never changes,
(It always remains the same)
Constant struggle that I've grown accustomed to,
Hoping that some day things will be different,
But it always ends before I have the chance to make amends,
This is the end of me,
(Does this have to be the end of us?)
These wounds are too deep,
When will the healing start for me?
(Scars are only skin-deep)

I've lost everything,
You should turn and run away,
Because anyone who gets close to me,
Just becomes a memory,
Which is all I seem to keep,
Reliving every step I've taken,
The path I've chosen,
Leads to misery,
I never got the chance,
To put your picture on my wall,
And now I'm unsure,
That I'll ever get to...

I build myself up,
Just to watch myself fall again,
It never changes,
(It always remains the same)
Constant struggle that I've grown accustomed to,
Hoping that some day things will be different,
But it always ends before I have the chance to make amends,
This is the end of me,
(Does this have to be the end of us?)
These wounds are too deep,
When will the healing start for me?
(Scars are only skin-deep)

My Resolve

They say that things get worse before they get better,
But I don't know how long I can hold strong,
And fake this smile.


I'll tell you the saddest story,
Of a life in peril,
Where no one seems to understand,
The pain I am fighting through,
Just trying to make it by,
The path I've chosen,
Is laid with tears,
Silent nights and forgetful days,
Somehow I have to keep pressing on.


To think things could come to this,
Everything comes at once,
Testing my faith,
My resolve,
It seems to the only thing left to keep me happy,
Are the drugs I need,
Because anymore it seems I have nothing left.


I'll tell you the saddest story,
Of a life in peril,
Where no one seems to understand,
The pain I am fighting through,
Just trying to make it by,
The path I've chosen,
Is laid with tears,
Silent nights and forgetful days,
Somehow I have to keep pressing on.

I don't know where I'm heading,
Day by day I'm livin',
Because when I think about the future,
I'm miserable.

P.S. - Don't Forget About Me

So I'm sitting here alone,
Back here in our hometown,
You only left yesterday,
But it seems like years,
Have come and passed us by,
You feel so far away,
Because I'd rather you be near,
But you're starting your journey of life,
A fresh, brand new start,
To do what you were meant to do,
Live free.


There were always so many restrictions,
It was driving you insane,
But now you're on your own,
Finding a new place to call your home,
I wish you the best along your adventure,
I have so mcuh I want to say,
But I hold it all inside,
Because this is for you,
And that's what matters at this point and time.

When you look up at the night sky,
Imagine me looking too,
If we can see the same stars,
Then we can never be too far,
Now it's my turn to be there for you,
As you were for me,
Oh so many years ago.

Don't forget about me,
I'll never forget about you
I'll never forget about you
I'll never forget about you.

While You Were Gone

With each day,
Time passes away,
But with every moment,
My love grows stronger,
I know it will never fade.


You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

I don't want to see you go,
But whatever the distance may be,
My love for you will radiate endlessly,
I've seen life without you in it,
And it overcame me,
Because nothing works out,
Nothing is the same,
You are the best part of everything.


You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

These words I write,
Can't describe the feelings I hold inside,
But girl I do try,
Because what I can say,
Is that I'll love you forever,
We've had our own share of problems,
But we always find our way back,
And I want nothing less for you,
Than to give you the world,
Because you deserve the world,
Because you deserve that and so much more.

You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

I never understood what love was,
Till we shared it together,
I know we've both been scared,
But is it truly worth it?
If we are scared to take the risk,
Afraid of the fall,
Trust in me as I trust in you,
There's no fall for you to take,
But just a chance to be shown,
I love who you truly are.

And while I was away,
The only thing I knew I wanted,
Was the girl whom I loved before,
I tried so hard to move on,
Because baby our meeting was destiny,
And I'll fight through everything,
To spend my time with you.

You've been hurt many times,
You've been broken,
Hate with tears you've cried,
And I just want to take that pain away,
To wipe your tears and hold you close,
Stand with you till the end,
Because all I've ever wanted,
Was to bring you happiness,
I'll be there through it all,
Because I'm following my heart,
It has never led me astray,
It has been that way for two years and forty-two days,
Yes I remember all that was felt before our time away,
And now I see what could be,
And I will wait for that chance again baby,
Forever if I need to,
But please don't make me wait that long,
Because even though I would,
It would bring me down,
Because I know what I want,
And that is you.

You've always been the best part,
Of a life that seemed so bleak,
I would die just to see you smile,
I know in my heart,
That you're the only one for me,
I don't need anyone like I need you,
When we're together I feel complete,
Without you I feel like the world is getting the best of me.

I love you,
I always will,
You are my one and only,
My only one if you will,
I've seen what else has been offered,
But nothing can take your place in my heart,
You built a home where you dwell,
And baby it's permanent,
Inside of me you'll always be,
Name removed from controversy,
You're the only one for me.

My Reason

I've tried so hard to push you out of my head,
But you are all I think about anymore,
I miss you more than ever,
And I'm not myself,
Trying not to feel lonely,
Wishing you were here.


Now I'm moving in circles,
I can't breathe,
I can't sleep,
I can't eat,
I'm just so lost without you,
When we talk,
My feelings come back ten-fold.

I've lost my will to suceed,
And I feel so terribly,
You were the ray of light in my life,
My little glimmer of hope,
And now I'm far past gone,
Trying to wait it out,
Hoping we'll be together again.

Now I'm moving in circles,
I can't breathe,
I can't sleep,
I can't eat,
I'm just so lost without you,
When we talk,
My feelings come back ten-fold.

I need you in my life,
Because I don't want to feel alone,
And I wish you knew,
All the things I've been through,
Because then you'd undertsand,
My need to be close to you.

In Times of Need

Please help me God,
I'm going through a tough part inside,
I'm trying to save a life,
But I don't always know the answers for the questions I seek.
(I feel inside)


I've loved this girl for so long,
But she went and moved on,
And I can't overcome this position,
Because she still means everything to me,
I could never set her free,
No matter how hard I tried,
She was the only thing on my mind.


Now's she's torn in her heart,
Between all she understands and the unknown,
And as much as I want her in my life,
I'd rather see her happy,
However that may seem,
Even if it means we'll never be,
My love for her would go that far,
Because she deserves the world,
Even if that world doesn't include me.


No matter what happens between us,
She'll always be my everything,
Nothing can ever change my feelings,
I know because I've tried,
However it ends,
Lord please guide my life.

New Beginnings

I'm feeling my way through this,
I'm just trying to understand this,
Because this is all so new to me,
Sometimes it's hard to find the words to say,
To explain the thoughts that wander through my mind,
I'm fighting a battle of nerves,
Looking for the path to follow.

No matter what words are said,
The feelings within my heart will remain,
(Yes they'll always remain)
You've got me locked away in your eyes,
Behind that silent smile,
Staring back into your gaze,
I've waited all my life,
For a girl like you,
(Yes a girl like you)

Everyday I spend with you,
The fonder my heart grows,
A week is just not enough,
But it will have to do,
Until the day I stand beside you,
When I'm around you,
All my blues fade away,
And I can see the sun again,
This is a new beginning,
A chance to start better than ever,
Take my hand,
I'll lead you right.

No matter what words are said,
The feelings within my heart will remain,
(Yes they'll always remain)
You've got me locked away in your eyes,
Behind that silent smile,
Staring back into your gaze,
I've waited all my life,
For a girl like you,
(Yes a girl like you)

Angel Eyes

My life's been full of pain,
But the day we met,
It all went away,
But through the tears,
Over all the years,
It was worth the tyranny,
Because it brought me you.


I know that dreams come true,
Wishes made come through,
Prayers asked receive an answer,
And endless thoughts don't end in disaster,
There's hope in all this,
Life isn't always hell,
And I hope you see,
You're my miracle.

Fear had kept me from the dating scene,
But I took a chance,
And I'm so very lucky,
Because you're absolutely amazing,
I never thought that when I left home,
That I'd leave with nothing,
And return with everything.

I know that dreams come true,
Wishes made come through,
Prayers asked receive an answer,
And endless thoughts don't end in disaster,
There's hope in all this,
Life isn't always hell,
And I hope you see,
You're my miracle.

Sort It Out

I've pulled myself through,
I've lifted my head,
Even when I felt that I was better off dead,
I did it myself with the help of God,
But I've missed your caring words,
Because they've withstood the test of time.

I'll never forget what you've done for me,
I'll never regret the love I felt,
I'll always believe,
That things were meant to be,
I'll always remember the time we spent,
In hopes that one day,
We can be together again.

It' so hard to understand,
Why you're so caught up on him,
When he never loved you the way I loved you,
I never put my feelings first,
Because I was scared of breaking your heart,
But you can't get over the fact,
That he is manipulating you,
And no longer can I stand still.

I'll never forget what you've done for me,
I'll never regret the love I felt,
I'll always believe,
That things were meant to be,
I'll always remember the time we spent,
In hopes that one day,
We can be together again.

No matter how hard I try,
I can't get you out of my mind,
And after all the tears I'll cry,
I don't want to believe that all this,
Was a lie.

Christmas Eve(ntually)

I've searched long and hard,
To fill the emptiness within my heart,
I've been lost,
I've been torn,
But the lesson I learned,
Was to carry on.


Winter was always bleak,
The cold that pierced your lungs,
And the darkness that obscured the light,
For me,
Always the loneliest time of the year,
When you're never really home.


God has given me so much,
He has shaped me into who I am today,
And without him I'd be in much worse shape.


I can't help but feel this way,
It seems my life always find the road,
That lead to dead ends,
I can't replace you,
I can't forget you,
So why can't I move along?


I'll always be waiting here,
I've got nothing left to hold back,
No longer will I bottle my feelings inside,
With the approach of the new year,
Comes a new start.

A Long Goodbye

I believed in a dream,
That faded into a nightmare,
And from all my fears,
Came the truth of reality,
But I've learned to face this kind of situation,
I've grown tired of the pain,
So I release it by moving forward.

I had so much to offer,
I treated you the best I knew how,
And when life got the best of me,
I wasn't sure what move to make next,
But with time and lessons learned,
I've overcome the obstacles set in front of me,
You don't know what you chose to give away so easily,
So don't cry when someday you see a smile on another girls face,
Because I waited for two years,
Longer than I needed to.

I will always love you in my heart,
But things between us would never work,
I'll still be the friend you need,
But you can't have everything,
Because I will build a wall,
To protect myself from being hurt,
I hope you find in life,
Everything you were hoping for,
Because its what you deserve.

I had so much to offer,
I treated you the best I knew how,
And when life got the best of me,
I wasn't sure what move to make next,
But with time and lessons learned,
I've overcome the obstacles set in front of me,
You don't know what you chose to give away so easily,
So don't cry when someday you see a smile on another girls face,
Because I waited for two years,
Longer than I needed to.

To Ease Your Pain

I've written down my frustration before,
My anger to the point of tears,
But the end result was always the same.
I was upset that I couldn't end all your years of tribulation,
You tell me everything is fine,
But I always know better,
I can see your world,
Because it is part of mine.


You feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders,
But I'm here to relieve your pain,
You feel like the only way out is death,
But I've been here waiting,
Telling you that I have your back,
If only you would give in and stop being so stubborn,
Let me through and I'll show you,
What life really is about.

It's hard to sit back and watch,
When I see you crying inside,
I want to take away your problems,
I want to take away the consequences,
But you've put up these walls,
And I can't find my way in,
So I stay silent hoping for the best.

You feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders,
But I'm here to relieve your pain,
You feel like the only way out is death,
But I've been here waiting,
Telling you that I have your back,
If only you would give in and stop being so stubborn,
Let me through and I'll show you,
What life really is about.

Fight To Live On

So I thought I had my life in check,
But the things you do behind my back,
Bring me down,
Because I would have never put you through this hell,
Like you do me,
and God only knows why,
I hide this deep inside.


I let you get the best of me,
I ignored what was happening,
In order for this suffering,
To feel less like dying,
Because you can hide your secrets,
But I will always know the truth,
Why did you,
Stab me in the heart?


I'm breaking into pieces,
Because my world was falling from beneath me,
And all I thought to hold true was forsaken by your actions,
That left me fending off my dreams,
Fighting for control,
Left alone,
Praying for relief,
Fighting against this predicament.

I let you get the best of me,
I ignored what was happening,
In order for this suffering,
To feel less like dying,
Because you can hide your secrets,
But I will always know the truth,
Why did you,
Stab me in the heart?

Somehow I'll make it through,
Somehow I'll make it through,
Somehow I'll make it through,

Even without you.

Falsetto

I'm not the best with words,
Sometimes in my confusion,
My emotions pour out of me,
Like the blood from my open wounds,
I created this mess,
and now I have to live with this regret.


I put on this fake smile,
I hold strong,
I've held on for so long,
Trying to pull through,
Sleepless nights alone,
Reaching for an answer,
Wishing on a star,
But I'm not sure that I'll find,
The reason for my feeling,
I'm sinking deeper,
Screaming for sympathy.


Hurt turned to anger,
Anger turned to hate,
And I've learned that no matter what I do or say,
It's not gonna change the fact,
That this is how it is,
Broken,
Bruised and numb,
This pain I hold inside,
Is a part of life.

I put on this fake smile,
I hold strong,
I've held on for so long,
Trying to pull through,
Sleepless nights alone,
Reaching for an answer,
Wishing on a star,
But I'm not sure that I'll find,
The reason for my feeling,
I'm sinking deeper,
Screaming for sympathy.

Begging for Forgiveness

I know I've made some horrific mistakes,
But you were always there to save me,
And that is one reason,
Why I miss you so much,
Now let me return the favor in this song,
Begging for Forgiveness.


I've ran and hid,
I locked my heart away,
And I am the cause of why I hurt so much,
I just pray that I can make-up,
For the pain I've brought,
I'm on my knees,
Begging for Forgiveness.

I want to be so close,
But I always push so far,
I was lost in my troubles
And I thought no cure could be found,
You held the key,
The answer lay in front of me,
And now I see,
The path is in sight,
I'm crying,
I'm screaming,
Begging for forgiveness.

I've ran and hid,
I locked my heart away,
And I am the cause of why I hurt so much,
I just pray that I can make-up,
For the pain I've brought,
I'm on my knees,
Begging for Forgiveness.

Forgive me please,
I'm gonna set things straight,
No matter the cost,
I'll do whatever it takes,
Begging for Forgiveness,
Understand my confusion.

I've ran and hid,
I locked my heart away,
And I am the cause of why I hurt so much,
I just pray that I can make-up,
For the pain I've brought,
I'm on my knees,
Begging for Forgiveness.

Time

Sometimes I watch the sunset alone,
Because when earth meets sky,
Time stands still,
So I breathe in the moment,
Wishing I could just share it,
This dream I live,
Easily becomes a nightmare.


I've been betrayed so much in life,But yet I still turn my cheek,
Just to get abused some more,
And I'm tired of the hurt,
I know it isn't right,
Because I've been through enough,
More than anyone knows,
When will someone understand?

Maybe my weakness is that I care too much,
Because it seems that when it comes to love,
I love too much,
I know too much,
And I fight for no reason,
To keep people in my life,
So why do I even try?

I've been betrayed so much in life,
But yet I still turn my cheek,
Just to get abused some more,
And I'm tired of the hurt,
I know it isn't right,
Because I've been through enough,
More than anyone knows,
When will someone understand?

Memories are the death of a dream,
Just a shattered picture,
Broken by time.

To Feel Alive

No matter how many tears I shed,
It can't heal these wounds,
No matter how hard I try,
I can't seem to fulfill me,
Because I'm left feeling empty.


My life has been full of tragedy,
And when I get my hopes up,
They've always been shot down,
So I'm left wondering,
What did I do,
To deserve all the pain I feel,
When all I ever try,
Is to help someone else,
Feel alive.


I may be an emotional mess,
But I have a heart that beats,
And two eyes to see,
That my life shouldn't be this way.


My life has been full of tragedy,
And when I get my hopes up,
They've always been shot down,
So I'm left wondering,
What did I do,
To deserve all the pain I feel,
When all I ever try,
Is to help someone else,
Feel alive.

Sometimes it seems,
That the only way to feel relief,
Is by dying inside,
Turn myself off to the world,
Because no one wants the truth,
They always look out for number one,
Well Me,
I put myself at two.

My life has been full of tragedy,
And when I get my hopes up,
They've always been shot down,
So I'm left wondering,
What did I do,
To deserve all the pain I feel,
When all I ever try,
Is to help someone else,
Feel alive.

Confessions of My Heart

Love was what I sought,
But found that love,
Is an invention of an idea of perfection,
Because when you've obtained it,
Life means everything.


When I hold you close,The times that meant the most,
After the pain I hid,
Each and every day,
You came to me,
And made everything right,
So when I lost you,
I lost a piece of myself,
Because you saved me from death,
You gave me a reason for living,
And I'll never forget that feeling,
Even as time fades away.

I don't mean to break you down,
These are just my thoughts,
That resound within my head,
And a confession from my heart,
I hope you find happiness,
Because you deserve the world,
Because for one second of time,
You changed my life,
And I felt purpose once again.

When I hold you close,
The times that meant the most,
After the pain I hid,
Each and every day,
You came to me,
And made everything right,
So when I lost you,
I lost a piece of myself,
Because you saved me from death,
You gave me a reason for living,
And I'll never forget that feeling,
Even as time fades away.

Bruised

I'm broken,
I'm shattered,
But I grin and bare,
With every step,
Another faltered line,
A simple waste of time,
A framed picture,
A heart set still,
The battle for life,
Now fought alone.

Now I'm trying,
To live for the future,
But I'm stuck hiding,
Hiding from my past,
I've been haunted,
By all my tragic memories,
thoughts have brought me down on my knees,
Begging for a release.

I'll be sure to never make a promise,
Because promises can't be kept,
I've lost sight of my dreams,
Because I can't see,
These tears are covering,
The eyes that betrayed me,
I've gone numb,
Because you were everything,
Everything to me.

Simple Gifts

How can it be,
That I still feel this way,
If love is forever,
Then why does forever feel so far away?


You've done so much for me,
And I never had the time,
To give back what you so easily gave to me.

Whenever our eyes meet,
It's like we never left,
So I long for another day,
To set things straight.

The one greatest gift,
Was the taste of your lips,
I've never forgotten,
What each kiss meant to me,
And what I would do for a second chance,
To hear you say the words I've missed so much,
"I Love You"

I had hoped that we'd always be,
Because I've never been happier,
Than when you were in my arms.

The one greatest gift,
Was the taste of your lips,
I've never forgotten,
What each kiss meant to me,
And what I would do for a second chance,
To hear you say the words I've missed so much,
"I Love You"

Consequences of a Lie

I took a chance and lost,
I thought this was right,
But I find,
Things aren't this way by design,
Because what I found,
Was that this wasn't real.


Now I'm stuck trying to find my way,
My heart and head collide,
My world dies and I've lost sight,
I hope you can help,
Because the loneliness I feel draws near,
I've left the light on,
But I'm far past gone.

Now I'm alone again,
Running from my past,
Wishing I could have something,
Something I can't have,
I've fallen into darkness,
Reaching for the light.

You were the fire within me and now it's gone,
I've replaced my heart with stone,
And I've become numb,
To the four letter word L-O-V-E, love,
I've been betrayed.

My Addiction

I'm caught up in the act,
Unsure what move to make next,
Running out of ideas,
Clinging to memories of days passed,
Fighting this battle,
Leaving with scars intact,
I hide from this addiction,
That seems to hold me back.


All I can do,
Is hope I'll make it through,
Life is full of obscurities,
The path we follow is never easy,
And the difficulty becomes hard to bare alone,
So we look to things that force a feeling upon us,
The thought of being sober,
Is such a waste of time,
When I could get this cheap high,
But what I know is,
These drugs come with a price.


I'm a broken soul,
Of a man once sought,
To seek in life the goodness in everything,
But what I've found,
Is that things never turn out,
No matter how much planning,
Goes into life.

The Pain of Life

During these times that we live,
The fires from below scorch our feet,
We're only inches from heaven,
Yet we live like we're in hell,
Exploitation of penetration,
Dissection of tension,
We use each other to get ahead,
If only we would work together.


In a dog eat dog world,
We struggle to survive,
In just a moment,
Just a second of time,
We could turn life around,
Help each other,
Never learning my side,
The pain of losing is hard to subside,
When all we're wanting is,
Happiness!


It seems to come so easy,
To those who deny, the way life is,
To be true to yourself,
And make life,
The way it should be.

Divided by Friday: October

Yet it hurts so bad,
Just sitting here alone,
And all I've ever wanted,
Was something of my own.


But everything always changes,
It changes,
Yeah nothing ever seems to stay the same.


And as these days in late October,
Are starting to get colder,
The stories that you told her,
Makes us wish we didn't have to grow older,
And leave our youth behind us,
Will love ever find us?
Or are we stuck here on our own?


And I have come to face the facts,
(That once you're gone you can't come back)
You can't count on tomorrow,
(It might not come),
(My sorrow)
I know it's from you,
And I reminisce.

And as these days in late October,
Are starting to get colder,
The stories that you told her,
Makes us wish we didn't have to grow older,
And leave our youth behind us,
Will love ever find us?
Or are we stuck here on our own?
 
As the moonlight shines,
Through my window blinds,
And the stars outside,
Can do all but hide,
I know this won't last,
We grow up so fast,
And the ones that we love,
Fade away...

And for now I'll close my eyes
(Why can't I...)
And I'll dream of lies,
(Give in...)
That seems so kind,
(There's something inside me...)
I'll wake up to find,
(And I admit...)
Another tear falling down,
(I probably...)
As the rain hits the ground,
(Did miss a couple...)
And you know that you've found,
(Times before...)
That perfect sound in you,
(And now I'm sure)

As these days in late October,
Continue to get colder,
I wonder if I told her,
How I felt enough today,
Cause tomorrow is too late,
You should never hesitate,
To tell them...
To tell them...

And I wonder,
(This is the end...)
Can you hear me?
(I can't forget...)
To some other,
(Where I came from...)
Can you see me?
(You're always there...)
I'm falling down,
(Inside I loved you...)

I keep falling down into,
(I can't forget...)
The memories of you,
(My thoughts of you)
End of you.



And as these days in late October,
They get colder,
It's over,
It's OVER!

To Run Away?

Everyday there is war within me,
My heart being the battle ground,
And along the way,
I seem to make mistakes,
Following the line,
Drawn in my mind,
When my eyes have decieved me,
I fall back on my instincts,
I call out your name.


The path I've taken,
Leads to self-destruction,
But the feeling gets me closer,
And takes the pain away,
These tears are worthless,
Sometimes I sense my prayers are in vain,
Because what I dream is so selfish,
My only wish is that you stay strong,
And follow through.

We fear that which is unknown,
The hand of life that touches us and sends us joy,
Blinds our senses,
Controls our every move,
Whispering subliminal thoughts,
Ones that tend to haunt,
So we can run away,
We run away from all we know.

Heartbreak Kid

This love was never real,
All that came was irreputable,
There was no sensation,
You're too young to feel like that,
Or at least that's what they told Heartbreak Kid.


You'll find someone else someday they say,
She says you deserve better,
When she was all you ever wanted,
She moved on to someone else,
When you can't shake this love she forsake,
Losing sleep over a picture,
That secretly was close to your heart

Heartbreak kid got a tattoo,
One that told the story of his passion for this girl,
That he would've given his life for,
Because he never thought he'd care that much,
To die to save a life,
Where the fear was worth the cost,
To protect that whom he held dear,
Heartbreak lost again...

You'll find someone else someday they say,
She says you deserve better,
When she was all you ever wanted,
She moved on to someone else,
When you can't shake this love she forsake,
Losing sleep over a picture,
That secretly was close to your heart

Return to Me

I am so appalled,
Are you so inclined to ignore me?
What I say seems to evaporate,
My thoughts behind these words,
Tell the story of a man,
Destined to die with a broken heart.


You were the fire within my soul,
The sunshine parting the clouds,
On a rainy day,
You were the wind in my face,
While I waited it out,
With the hope of love,
But left with dread.


Is there still a chance,
That this could be,
Something we both regret,
I dream of you every night,
Wishing you were by my side.

You were the fire within my soul,
The sunshine parting the clouds,
On a rainy day,
You were the wind in my face,
While I waited it out,
With the hope of love,
But left with dread.

You were the fire,
That burnt deep within me,
You were the power,
That taught me what life is about,
You were the absence of pain,
Saving me from what I was to become,
And now you're gone...

Memories

All I have left are these memories of you and I,
I remember the time when you came to me crying,
And I held you tightly,
And time after time I was late to work,
Just to have five more minutes with you.

Everything was perfect to me,
Nothing seemed to matter more,
My world was you,
You were the inspiration to better myself,
And when I hung my head,
Eyes of desperation, frustration,
And in need of justification,
You were the glue,
That held my heart together.

At the top of the hill.
Thoughts of hope and bliss alone,
Praying things would turn right,
At the campfire,
Resting your head on mine,
Looking at the stars,
Seeing destiny infused with the light,
My life was brightened,
And I had purpose again.

Washed Away

I've been given a clean slate,
With a life to renew,
If only we'd have met now,
Things would be different,
I am not who I was,
I've changed.


I've dedicated myself,
To the dream of you and me,
What I felt I could never lose,
And unfortunately I'm flying solo,
This darkened road I traveled on,
Trying to make it by,
Taking one step at a time,
Hoping life just flies by.


Because with you,
Times stands still,
Without you I suffer and bare,
The weight of my world,
Bringing me down on my knees,
I hold my own,
I hold my own.


I've dedicated myself,
To the dream of you and me,
What I felt I could never lose,
And unfortunately I'm flying solo,
This darkened road I traveled on,
Trying to make it by,
Taking one step at a time,
Hoping life just flies by.

One Year Too Long

All that I used to know,
Is no longer so,
People wonder why I still hurt,
When it was so long ago,
And sometimes I contemplate why,
I hold these feelings inside.


I do it for you,
I do it for the emptiness I hide within,
Because it is better than feeling nothing,
I can't replace you,
I can't forget you,
I can't deny you,
No matter how hard I try.


Your happiness has always been,
My number one priority,
I sometimes wonder,
How it would be if it were still you and me,
Rather than you and him,
The thought plagues me,
Because even though it's been a year,
My love never died.

Outcry

God,
I found myself in a mess,
I have to confess,
That this is destroying me,
All I seem to encounter is suffering,
I can't seem to win,
My trust has been shattered,
My thoughts turned to sin,
I'm afraid of what I'll become,
It seems that I have lost it all.


My future seems so bleak,
I can't call this living,
I feel defeated,
It's like a disease that can't be treated,
I'm not sure what to do,
I have no clue whom I should turn to,
I'm an empty-shell,
Of the man I used to be

My head spins in circles,
My wallet empty as can be,
My heart filled with anguish,
My eyes drenched with tyranny,
Blinding my path,
But I pray to you,
Hoping this will pull me through,
Because I can't do this alone,
I know that I need you.

It seems as if I'm alone,
Making mistake after mistake,
I'm only nineteen,
But this world is unforgiving,
Smiles are replaced by knives,
Because people would rather stab you in the back,
Then to try and save your life.

My future seems so bleak,
I can't call this living,
I feel defeated,
It's like a disease that can't be treated,
I'm not sure what to do,
I have no clue whom I should turn to,
I'm an empty-shell,
Of the man I used to be

Life in Hind-Sight

I'm always wandering about,
Wondering when I'm gonna catch a break,
Always look on the look-out,
For something to shape my life,
Sometimes I feel alone,
But I know I have to continue on,
I'm just praying,
That my day will come sooner than later,
Until then all I have,
Is my hope.

(Chorus)
I've had my dreams stolen from me,
I've had those closest to me run-away,
I hid my heart,
I closed my eyes,
I waited patiently,
I pulled through hell,
Even when it hurt to breathe,
But now I see things differently,
So I'm trying to cope,
One day at a time.

I wish to erase the past,
So I look to the future,
I fight for what I believe,
This is my right,
To choose the way I live.

Gleaming

The sun burns red,
After every word she said,
Making me wish that I were dead,
It seemed flowers lost time,
Forgetting to bloom,
Shunning the sunlight,
So the clouds blocked the golden radiance,
Pouring darkness unto the land,
Leaving me alone,
Fighting for every breath left.


(Chorus)Then someone came,
Made me re-think,
Making the sunshine once again,
Even though we were miles apart,
No matter how distant we become,
Fate seemed to intervene,
And we met face to face,
No words were spoken,
But our eyes met and I felt whole once again.

I never knew I could fall so easily again,
When my memories of love were misconstrued,
But with every thought,
The deeper it became,
For she reminded me,
That I am who I am,
And that I,
Can love again...

Open

A day away,
A chance for simplicity,
To truly understand,
We must first,
Give in.


(Chorus)We always fight,
We push for the hard way,
When if we would just open up,
Everything will fall into place,
This race called life,
Could be so much easier,
If we'd just open up.

Just think,
If we were all honest,
How much better would this world be?
If we all would let go of our feelings,
Look past the differences,
And come together,
For the benefit of mankind.

(Chorus)
We always fight,
We push for the hard way,
When if we would just open up,
Everything will fall into place,
This race called life,
Could be so much easier,
If we'd just open up.

Delusional

Ever since we met,
Every time I talk to you,
Whenever I see your eyes I melt inside,
I tell myself that you are the best,
I feel as if you're the one,
You're so perfect in every way,
I'd wait forever and a day,
Just for you.

(Chorus)
I mean every word I say,
I'd do anything to make your day,
I know you so well,
And you know the real me,
I want to spend my time,
Showing you how much I love you.

I think about you everyday,
There isn't a moment that goes by,
When you aren't on my mind,
One year,
Five Months,
And I have loved every minute of it,
I only hope you'll be mine.

(Chorus)
I mean every word I say,
I'd do anything to make your day,
I know you so well,
And you know the real me,
I want to spend my time,
Showing you how much I love you.

A Stab to the Heart

Why do you choose,
To refuse my point of view,
Why do you believe the lies,
That lead to my ultimate demise?
You think I hate you,
So you fire your words,
That become daggers that pierce my heart,
when you fail to find,
Is that in fact I'm still in love with you.


(Chorus)
All I ever wanted to do,
Was to be given another chance,
A last kiss,
One last chance,
Just a chance to hold your hand,
To hold you in my arms again,
To never let you go,
Behind the lines,
Behind my false smile,
I was dying to be by your side.


I hid my feelings deep within,
Because I didn't want to show my pain,
And make you hurt and cry,
I prayed that you'd be happy,
Prayed that someone would love you,
Love you like I do,
You re-opened my wounds,
When they had just begun to heal,
Watching me bleed,
Pouring my hear out.

(Chorus)
All I ever wanted to do,
Was to be given another chance,
A last kiss,
One last chance,
Just a chance to hold your hand,
To hold you in my arms again,
To never let you go,
Behind the lines,
Behind my false smile,
I was dying to be by your side.

Rememberance

Love,
Why does a four letter word mean so much,
And hurt more than anything else?
It causes a war within the heart,
and causes you to become blind,
We search through life for it,
But we suffer the pain first.


(chorus)
I don't blame you for leaving me,
I know that sometimes I'm just too much work,
I'm not mad at you,
I'm just sad because I cared for you,
More than anything,
I needed you more than anyone,
But you have to do what is best for you,
Although I will always miss you,
I know things will never be the same.


When I sleep,
Close my eyes and dream,
All I can do is think of you,
And wish things were like yesterday,
I'll never be able to move on,
No matter how harsh your words are,
I will always feel the same,
As the day you were mine.

(chorus)
I don't blame you for leaving me,
I know that sometimes I'm just too much work,
I'm not mad at you,
I'm just sad because I cared for you,
More than anything,
I needed you more than anyone,
But you have to do what is best for you,
Although I will always miss you,
I know things will never be the same.

Memoirs from A Life Once Lost:

I'm stuck in my thoughts,
Memories flooding my head,
I don't know what I want in life,
Or where I will be years away,
I seem to question everything,
Even my own mentality,
I've tried to feel,
Even though I was numb,
The pain from my past,
Haunts me with a flame.


In life we learn to fall,
No way to break through it all,
Time just seems to slip away,
I no longer know what words that I can say,
To change everything around,
I've circled the drain,
At some point in my life,
Now I'm just praying that I'll no longer,
Feel alone.


I'll fake a smile,
While hiding these tears,
I'll follow the trend,
The pain is hard to swallow,
When I'm choking on tyranny,
And bleeding from scars left upon me,
A broken heart,
A shattered dream,
Memories burnt to ash,
A solemn promise,
An oath to humanity,
I'll follow and learn to breathe,
On My Own...

If Life Gives You Lemons, Then Give It Hell

The  way things seem to turn out for me,
Are down a path I could not forsee,
And even though this isolation crushes my sanity,
I have to fight on with a little bit of integrity,
I seem to find myself swimming in the past,
It was the only thing to look back on to find out why,
Nice guys like me finish last.

(Chorus)
Now I must finish what I've started,
I've been at this for far too long,
The only thing I've wished is to realize my dreams,
And maybe to have someone stand with me,
Because this loneliness within my heart,
Has caused me to feel empty and torn apart,
Which I can no longer take,
Because it's drowning me.

Maybe this is all of my fault,
These are based off decisions I've already made,
Moving for a girl wasn't the best of ideas,
But she was my one love,
She became my life,
But I guess I was unworthy,
Because she left so early.

(Chorus)
Now I must finish what I've started,
I've been at this for far too long,
The only thing I've wished is to realize my dreams,
And maybe to have someone stand with me,
Because this loneliness within my heart,
Has caused me to feel empty and torn apart,
Which I can no longer take,
Because it's drowning me.


Obviously babe I'm not the same, why?
I had to learn to live without out you and I have,
But guess what?
I can't forget your face because it haunts my dreams,
So I have to live with the memories,
Fully implanted in my brain,
I can't just toss you away,
Especially because you were the answer to my biggest prayer.


Do you remember being my life-line?
This love for you won't seem to die,
and it pains me so much inside,
Because it tortures my soul and won't let loose,
Creating a void within me,
Empty as the possibility of you and I becoming one,
Because we will be one and two,
Forever it seems.

(Chorus)
Now I must finish what I've started,
I've been at this for far too long,
The only thing I've wished is to realize my dreams,
And maybe to have someone stand with me,
Because this loneliness within my heart,
Has caused me to feel empty and torn apart,
Which I can no longer take,
Because it's drowning me.

The Deciever

I return to all i have ever known,
it might have been easier if i'd flown,
i left to say goodbye,
because it seems time was lost,
and i'd became a distant memory,
i always do this to me,
I can't fight this mentality,

Your name resounds within my head,
and sometimes i feel brain dead,
because i never think of me,
I've always lived for you,
and then i fled from this place,
I'm sorry everyone,
There was too much tryanny to take,
I needed an escape,
I love you all,
But I gotta make something of myself,
Life's taught me that love,
is impossible to achieve,

Now in a stupor,
out of options,
i turn to my writing,
it seems like im always manipulated,
it's easy to play tricks on the insolent,
this is the darkness i bare,
the darkness i'd rather not share,

what's wrong with me?
why does everything i see,
have to remind me of you?
There's this emptiness within my heart,
Because i can't tell you apart,
You know who you are,
even though you've deceived me,
I for once saw through your wall,

why does this feeling remain?
Why must it still linger,
I've given everything,
so guess what I left with nothing,
So from nothing I must make something,
even if i force myself to be alone,
for this life i must atone,
i'm writing to free my mind,
this song lost in time,
a peak into my soul,
the only thing i've ever known,

i keep fighting,
i can't stop writing,
it's like these thoughts,
fuel an addiction,
of a dream that will never be,
it's a hell i must live each day,
but it's of my choosing,

for God so loved the world,
he gave his only son,
as a sacrifice for all mankind,
i feel his pain,
i feel the world on my shoulders,
sometimes i'm not sure which way to go,
i'm trying to find my light,
outta sight,
outta mind,
baby you just don't understand,
i feel what you feel,
or maybe i'm just plain crazy,

something resides inside,
that won't let this go,
because things don't make sense,
hunni i just want the truth,
i know your secret,
i fell in love with you undercover,
with absolutely no rhyme or reason,
so you have to be one and the same,
or maybe hunni i'm just clinically insane,

i've never forgotten what you said,
it's just hard to keep these promises,
because i can't grin and stare,

What is my purpose?
where is my direction,
this is just a self reflection,
because i never stood so low,

Don't judge me,
i don't want the pitty,
this is what i chose,
and i'm going to live with it,
maybe i'm lacking some sanity,
but live in my shoes,
I grin and bare more than I care to share,
Things have gotten better,
but i'm getting too old,
to be relying on this,
have i ruined everything,
hunni why can't you just come out,

it's so early but i can't sleep it's almost morning,
i guess the world is really coming to an end,
because we're just friends,
that's all we'll ever be,
why can't i accept that hinders me,
but something seems familiar,
almost as if everything is a simile,

this thought is a string of events the names i dare not say,
no one reads these anyway,
maybe i shouldn't care,
but when collusion is rare,
i have to make the best,
not just sit and stare,
today was a blast from the past,

in the short time i've been gone,
so much has changed,
lives just are not the same.

As Days Go By

Days go by,
The nights grow longer,
The loneliness settles in,
And every time the thought of you finds its way to my eyes,
Tears seem to fall from the memory of you and me,
Those were the days when I felt alive

[Chorus]
This is for you,
All these words I hold true,
Without you I am nothing,
The last song I ever sang to you,
Still sends chills up my spine,
This is for you because I will always,
Love You

When the rainclouds start to become unbearable,
I will still be there whenever you need a hand,
I'm not going far,
Because you will always be a part of me


[Chorus]
This is for you,
All these words I hold true,
Without you I am nothing,
The last song I ever sang to you,
Still sends chills up my spine,
This is for you because I will always,
Love You

Time Machine

Do you ever wish that you could peer into the future?
To find that there is no need to worry,
Because you can stop any danger before it happens,
Do you ever wish that you could change the past?
So you can live without regret.
Because you live your life as if you are perfect,
As time runs out

[Chorus]
Time machines won't save you,
Every decision made is set in stone,
Nothing you can do to erase the past,
Or glimpse into the future,
We skate through this life,
When we should live each day as if it is our last

My heart has turned cold,
From all the torture,
From all the trepidation,
And all the isolation.

Thoughts Folded in Half (In My Back Pocket)

I took a walk around town last night,
Cold and alone,
Following the path from my memories,
I remember why I never went anywhere on my own,
I never liked being by myself,
Because I wanted someone to care,
All my life I have searched for that person,
But people seem to leave my life,
Just as quick as they came in

[Chorus]
I stopped by hoping you'd let me inside,
But instead you slammed the door in my face,
Drew your fists and cursed my name,
You left me wondering how you can treat me like this,
When the only thing I've ever done,
Was "care too much".

But of course no one realizes my pain,
Because when I share my thoughts,
People get hurt because I never seem to do anything right,
My intentions were always for the best,
In fact my heart hurts more to know,
The pain I cause someone else,
Because that is what I dread,
Making someone else feel what I live through

[Chorus]
I stopped by hoping you'd let me inside,
But instead you slammed the door in my face,
Drew your fists and cursed my name,
You left me wondering how you can treat me like this,
When the only thing I've ever done,
Was "care too much".

Cloak and Dagger

Sometimes I wish that I couldn't feel,
Because all this heartache pushes me to the edge,
I lost everything when you left,
And now I'm staggering,
Trying to hold my ground

[Chorus]
Do you even notice me anymore?
When you sleep at night,
Do I even cross your mind?
When you said I love you,
Did you truly mean it?
You gave him so many chances,
But you gave me none,
I feel worthless after all you have done,
I was just trying to not bleed from the inside,
But insult added to injury and now I'm left dying

I have forgiven you,
But it hurts me still,
Because my feelings won't leave,
I guess I am not the one,
But my heart told me otherwise,
I can't always be right I suppose,
So why does this have to hurt so much?
When life supposedly goes on

[Chorus]
Do you even notice me anymore?
When you sleep at night,
Do I even cross your mind?
When you said I love you,
Did you truly mean it?
You gave him so many chances,
But you gave me none,
I feel worthless after all you have done,
I was just trying to not bleed from the inside,
But insult added to injury and now I'm left dying

Cell Phones and Table Lights

The fire within us,
Our determination destroys our barriers,
We come alive in the moment we dreamed,
This feeling overcomes us,
We cry out every thought,
Every emotion,
We can hear our hearts beat,
The lights flash in our eyes,
We look for something to hold on to,
But we fall through,
Straight through

[Chorus]
Drowning myself in my music,
I try to avoid the unavoidable,
I heard our song again...
But it seems as if the meaning is dead,
The only sound I hear,
Is my own tears falling,
So sick and tired of it all,
I think I'm going insane,
All this hits my brain,
That this must be the end

Walking the path of life,
Fighting through the obstacles,
The only object of my affection was you,
My only inspiration was you,
Now I'm finding my way blind,
Because there is no light to illuminate this darkness


[Chorus]
Drowning myself in my music,
I try to avoid the unavoidable,
I heard our song again...
But it seems as if the meaning is dead,
The only sound I hear,
Is my own tears falling,
So sick and tired of it all,
I think I'm going insane,
All this hits my brain,
That this must be the end

In and Out

You walked into my life,
Just as fast as you came in,
You left me hanging by a thread,
I would have been better off dead,
The path to my heart,
Ripped and torn apart.

[Chorus]
It is said that fate controls your life,
That everything happens for a reason,
That if it is meant to be,
It will work out,
But I believe love is SUICIDE,
Because there is pain for what cause?
You slowly die inside,
When all along you find that love is vile

I have given up on you,
Because you could care less about me,
You lied to me,
You broke me down,
You looked for revenge,
And you tore my heart out,
I loved you with everything in me,
And yet you betrayed me,
Love is Death

[Chorus]
It is said that fate controls your life,
That everything happens for a reason,
That if it is meant to be,
It will work out,
But I believe love is SUICIDE,
Because there is pain for what cause?
You slowly die inside,
When all along you find that love is vile

Omega

These friendships I hold dear,
The brothers I have found,
The cause for my motivation,
To reinvent my way of thinking,
To find in this my purpose,
Through ATO,
May my dreams come true

[Chorus]
This is my family,
The support,
The closeness,
The drive,
We are as one,
This is a God-given right,
To do unto others,
As they have done unto us,
To bring out the best we can offer,
To care like no other,
I'm proud to be,
An Alpha Tau Omega Brother

There is meaning in everything,
And through this learning,
We seem to find who we are,
Or at least the proper principles,
To live life by,
Nothing can compare,
This is for real

[Chorus]
This is my family,
The support,
The closeness,
The drive,
We are as one,
This is a God-given right,
To do unto others,
As they have done unto us,
To bring out the best we can offer,
To care like no other,
I'm proud to be,
An Alpha Tau Omega Brother

"To know no North, no South, no East, no West",
But to be united as one.

Day By Day

Hoping to do the right thing,
Not wanting to make a mistake,
Praying for the courage needed,
To let go and stop the worrying,
To follow your dreams,
To smile when things look bleak,
To move on and learn to love again,
To break the monotony,
Void the spaces,
And follow the path less taken

[Chorus]
Live day by day,
You have no control over what comes your way,
Don't give up hope,
There is more to this than that which meets the eye,
You can't go through life,
With your eyes towards the ground,
Look up and see what is in your path,
This is your life,
Why throw away what you have?

This is a call,
For those who think there is nothing left,
There is always someone waiting,
They will be there whenever you may need them,
They will always listen to you,
They see through the barriers,
They can see into your heart,
Don't let go,
They've been there from the start.

[Chorus]
Live day by day,
You have no control over what comes your way,
Don't give up hope,
There is more to this than that which meets the eye,
You can't go through life,
With your eyes towards the ground,
Look up and see what is in your path,
This is your life,
Why throw away what you have?

Torn Inside

I found this girl who seemed to stop time,
With one look at me she made my heart melt,
But the thing is this girl is my best friends love,
No matter how bad I want her,
I could never do that to him,
I don't want to tear them apart

[Chorus]
Why couldn't we have met in a different place,
Where past feelings wouldn't stand in our way,
When will it be my time to live,
To feel alive,
I think I died inside,
But somehow you brought me back to life,
You were there all along,
Right in front of me

It kills me that I'm holding back,
Because you became an important part of my life,
Something I think I need,
This raging storm inside of me,
Feeling as if it's overtaking me,
You were my lifesaver,
Pulling me in,
With your words encouraging me,
When all I thought I could do was cry.

Why couldn't we have met in a different place,
Where past feelings wouldn't stand in our way,
When will it be my time to live,
To feel alive,
I think I died inside,
But somehow you brought me back to life,
You were there all along,
Right in front of me

Fires From Within

Why is it life has to be so difficult,
When you open one door another one closes,
There can be no medium,
It's always one or the other,
And it makes me sad to know,
That I can't win no matter what direction I go

[Chorus]
Why do we fight?
Why do we continue to want to live?
When all that we get is the pain that envelops our souls,
And plots our lives,
To drive through fires of malevolence,
Each new day brings us closer to our death,
When all we can do is hold our breath

I only wish to do my best,
To put forth the effort,
Live step by step,
Hoping to leave an impression,
Hope to fufill my cause,
Because my one life is all I've got

[Chorus]
Why do we fight?
Why do we continue to want to live?
When all that we get is the pain that envelops our souls,
And plots our lives,
To drive through fires of malevolence,
Each new day brings us closer to our death,
When all we can do is hold our breathbreath

Spread the Ashes (Realization)

My life is spinning out of control,
This wasn't my idea for us,
How is it so easy for you to move on,
And so hard for me not to hold on,
You tell me you've found someone new,
And all I can do is smile,
But behind it fall the tears.

[CHORUS]
Days pass me by,
And I'm still stuck on you,
Four months ago you left my side,
And I've given up hope,
There is nothing I can do,
I thought I'd always be with you,
But I see,
You never truly loved me,
Not the way I loved you

I can't sleep because I dream of you,
I stay awake to bare how much I miss you,
But I see I mean nothing to you,
I can't just be your friend,
I'm in too deep and I wish it would end,
My days are dark,
There's no turning back,
You chose this for us,
And now this is the life I lead

Days pass me by,
And I'm still stuck on you,
Four months ago you left my side,
And I've given up hope,
There is nothing I can do,
I thought I'd always be with you,
But I see,
You never truly loved me,
Not the way I loved you

The Mistake

I'm an emotional wreck,
My words pierce through like knives,
I mean none of it,
Because my words were meant to care,
My stares were looks of anguish and sympathy,
For all you've been through and how much I hurt you,
And what I regret most is pulling you through hell,
The hell which I live each day,
I took you with me when I should have been mute,
And ignored the pain inside,
I'm sorry for everything,
I truly never meant to take you with me,
And I really do care about you,
But sometimes I have a weird way of showing it.
I know I'm hard to understand,
I don't blame you for giving up,
I'm not worth the effort,
Not worth the cause,
You were right to move on,
At least I can't cause your tears,
I just hope you remember the good times that we used to share,
I don't want you to remember me as...
THE MISTAKE

My Pain

This pain I constantly feel,
I deserve somehow,
To see things clearer,
I wipe the sweat from my eyes,
My punishment is to sit and watch,
Because I can't do anything.

[Chorus]
Sometimes I feel like running so I avoid falling,
And breaking hearts never meant to hurt so much,
I wish I was perfect,
Then I would be anything,
But causing catastrophe.

Forget me,
You're better off not knowing me,
And thinking about all the pain you feel,
I'm so sorry,
I wish you knew how badly I want,
To go back and see things through
Sometimes I feel like running so I avoid falling,
And breaking hearts never meant to hurt so much,
I wish I was perfect,
Then I would be anything,
But causing catastophe.

More Than I Can Give

I hope that wherever life takes you,
You go with a smile on your face and an easiness on your heart,
I hope you find out who you are and what you want to be,
I hope you see all you have to offer and rest easy

(Chorus)
I hope one day you find love,
More than you could ever hope for,
And more than I can give,
I hope he treats you with respect and dignity,
Bring you to your knees as you fill with joy,
I hope you end up happy,
Enjoying life and living for each new day

Wherever you go you will never be alone,
I'll be in the shadows helping you through the darkness,
Invisible to your sight,
Hold your head high,
You deserve so much,
More than I can give

(Chorus)
I hope one day you find love,
More than you could ever hope for,
And more than I can give,
I hope he treats you with respect and dignity,
Bring you to your knees as you fill with joy,
I hope you end up happy,
Enjoying life and living for each new day

Falling Into Despair

I'm stuck within the crevices,
Of a life once past,
I've left behind all I've ever known and had,
And I feel so alone,
I've taken a different path,
Hopefully in the right direction

[Chorus]
Now all I've got are memories,
Of now forsaken tendencies,
I feel I'm slowly fading,
Because it's so hard to move along,
When everything I've ever loved,
Is no longer here,
This distance I bare,
To cleanse these shreds of humanity,
That I used to share

They say the rest is unwritten,
But that's what is the cause of my fear,
I'm in a foreign land,
Losing my grip on my sanity,
While everyone sits idly-by,
Because they have no idea

[Chorus]
Now all I've got are memories,
Of now forsaken tendencies,
I feel I'm slowly fading,
Because it's so hard to move along,
When everything I've ever loved,
Is no longer here,
This distance I bare,
To cleanse these shreds of humanity,
That I used to share

Not What I Mean

This may be my new beginning,
Life had different plans for you and I,
So then why is it so hard to let you go?

(Chorus)
Who do I look to?
No one can take your place,
But you aren't here anymore,
You changed for him and you left me alone,
When I screamed aloud,
All I heard was my own echo

I used to think I had a purpose,
But now I'm unsure,
I live life day by day,
But that's not enough to hold these tears back,
They still break through,
Even though I've become numb to the pain

(Chorus)
Who do I look to?
No one can take your place,
But you aren't here anymore,
You changed for him and you left me alone,
When I screamed aloud,
All I heard was my own echo

The Day I Lost You

This is the outlet from my pain,
The thoughts,
The memories,
I write with my blood,
I can't sleep because I'm reliving my mistakes,
It's been that way since the day I lost you...

(Chorus)
I'm out around town,
Marveling the beauty night brings,
Wishing you could see what I see,
Wishing you'd walk beside me like you used to do,
If only these words could set everything right

I look to the sky hoping that the answers for the questions I hold inside,
Are somehow written in plain view,
But life isn't that easy,
Time tends to heal all wounds,
But time has made me bleed

I'm lost in this world I thought I knew,
I've left the path I was accustomed to,
And now I'm confused as to what to do,
I struggle to breathe,
But I carry on

Reality is a Dream

I wake up each day from these dreams of my memories,
I'm waiting by the phone just hoping you'll call,
Spending nights looking through your old pictures and old letters,
Praying that things won't always be this way.

(Chorus)
I remember all the times we spent together,
Just looking into each others' eyes,
Because words weren't needed for what we were feeling,
All our troubles melted away,
It was just you and me and that's how I always wanted it to be

I hope this isn't forever,
Because with every new day,
I think of you,
Wishing you and me could be us and we,
I've missed you oh so much

(Chorus)
I remember all the times we spent together,
Just looking into each others' eyes,
Because words weren't needed for what we were feeling,
All our troubles melted away,
It was just you and me and that's how I always wanted it to be

I will be there for you no matter what,
This love within me is here to stay,
I'm here with open arms for when you are ready to give your heart,
Back to me...